On-chain credit bureau
Your wallet has
a credit score.
It's not good.
It's the 18th anniversary of the week the financial system broke. Coincidence? No.Eighteen years ago this month, the financial system collapsed. Banks gone overnight, careers with them. Paste your wallet and find out if your trading style would have survived the subprime crisis. No wallet connect, ever.
Get your credit report
What is this
A credit report. For your bags.
We didn't pick the name by accident. In September 2008, banks that looked fine on paper turned out to be one bad week from insolvency. The whole crisis was a credit-scoring failure at global scale. So: would your trading style have survived it, or would you have been the reason Lehman Brothers looks disciplined by comparison? See what actually happened, day by day →
Mirrors actual FICO weights: payment history, amounts owed, length of history, new credit, credit mix. Every featured trade also gets stamped AAA, BBB, or Junk, based purely on the market cap you bought at. Same trick the ratings agencies pulled in 2008: big and reassuring-looking isn't the same as safe.
Every claim is rounded, scoped, and independently checkable. No balances shown, ever. Only losses, scores, and percentages.
One card, one punchline, six seconds to understand. Flip it for the full technical breakdown: factors, marks, insolvency projection.
How it works
Three steps. None of them are cardio.
Paste a wallet.
Yours, a friend's, an enemy's. Any public EVM address. No connect button. We never ask for access.
Get scored.
We pull the trade history, compute the five factors, and hand back a score from 300 to 850. Most people land subprime. That's the point.
Post it.
One card, front and back. Share it on X or see where you rank against everyone else who dared to check.
History
September 2008. Day by day.
The name isn't a joke on top of a joke. Eighteen years ago this month, the global financial system found out what happens when nobody's checking anyone's credit score until it's too late. Here's what actually happened, on the actual dates. We'll be posting each one on its real anniversary.
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are seized
The U.S. Treasury places both mortgage giants into federal conservatorship, backstopping roughly $5 trillion in mortgage debt. The companies that were supposed to make housing safer were themselves insolvent.
Translation: the house always wins, until the house is also underwater.
Lehman Brothers files for bankruptcy
158 years old, gone in a weekend. It remains the largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history. Merrill Lynch agrees to be bought by Bank of America the same weekend to avoid the same fate.
The bar for "would you have done worse than Lehman Brothers" has been sitting on the floor for 18 years. Most wallets still don't clear it.
The Fed bails out AIG
An $85 billion emergency loan to the insurance giant, in exchange for a roughly 80% government stake. One day after letting Lehman fail, regulators decided this one was too big.
No lender will extend credit at this time, unless you're systemically important, in which case, congratulations.
A money-market fund "breaks the buck"
The Reserve Primary Fund's share price falls below $1 after writing off Lehman debt. It's the first time in 14 years a fund considered nearly as safe as cash had lost money. Panic spreads to the safest corner of the market.
Turns out "safe" and "diversified" were also just vibes.
The $700B bailout is proposed
Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson sends Congress a three-page proposal for what becomes TARP (the Troubled Asset Relief Program), asking for the authority to buy up to $700 billion in bad mortgage assets.
A three-page ask for the biggest bailout in history. Most rug post-mortems are longer.
Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley stop being investment banks
The last two major independent investment banks on Wall Street convert to traditional bank holding companies overnight, trading independence for access to Fed support.
Everyone finds religion once the drawdown gets bad enough.
Washington Mutual collapses
Seized by regulators and sold to JPMorgan Chase for $1.9 billion, still the largest bank failure in U.S. history by assets. Depositors lined up; shareholders got nearly nothing.
The original "down 99% from peak, position charged off."
Congress rejects the bailout, and the Dow has its worst day ever
The House votes down the TARP bill. The Dow Jones drops 777.68 points in a single session, the largest one-day point drop in its history to that date. A revised bill passes days later.
Even the people who caused it got liquidated first and asked questions later.
Methodology
Five factors. All public.
AAA RATEDBBB RATEDJUNK RATEDEvery card also stamps its featured trade with one of these, based only on the market cap you bought at. It's flavor, not part of the score. We're not your bank.